Sleepy Starbucks Afternoon

Sitting here in Starbucks. Thinking it’s likely time to blog again. Wondering what to write about. Then it strikes me. I am sitting here in one of my communities. Perhaps I could write about community.
It is interesting how my views of community and who I am in various communities has changed. I spent my 20s and my 30s downright exhausting myself as I tried to fit myself into the mold which I felt was expected by those around me. I either tried to fit myself into what “the” student should be. What “the” christian should be. What “the” Early Childhood Educator should be. I even tried to define what “the” friend should be.
As a result I felt very disconnected from many communities.
Then, in my early 40s something interesting happened (and it wasn’t a simple, overnight process and was in fact filled with some painful moments). I realized that I was absolutely exhausted trying to be “the perfect _____ member”. At the urging of a few near and dear to me, I finally decided to try just being me. That was pretty dern scary as I had been so many different aspects of me, but not shown much of me to many.
As I started just being me in all of the different settings, I discovered something…I like people, I love networking, I am a huge connector of communities or people. Above all, I discovered that people in a number of different communities were freer to share their lives with me, because they could see something genuine.
At first, although I was being freer in all of my communities and not acting like someone I was not, I was selectively revealing who I was. The interesting this latelt, is that God has been prompting me, reminding me that all areas of my life are part of me…so things have been happening like talking about faith with coffee shop folk, talking about work with church folk…etc., etc., While still maintaining boundaries (I mean…you really don’t need to know about my last trip to the washroom) more of my communities are seeing more of the whole me…and it’s getting less scary…and it’s a good thing…and I am continuing to grow and learn…and have meandering coffee shop thoughts…